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Melissa N Smith: 7 Insightful Questions

7 Insightful Questions to Help You Adjust Your Blind Spot - Unrealistic Expectations

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May hit me like a ton of bricks. From the end of school activities to an extended stay from a friend, my schedule ran me to the ground. Where I made a mistake was in planning. I didn’t. My son graduated from High School this year, so I’ve had years of following a school schedule to prepare me for May. Yet, I found myself caught off guard. 

For the past 6 months, I’ve been building a new coaching business, and I love it. The sessions with my clients bring me such joy, and the work of dreaming and building keeps me on my toes. In an ideal world, I would balance work and rest well. Creativity and productivity would live in an eager partnership, and planning would help me stay on track and prepared for each season. Spoiler alert, I don’t live in an ideal world.

My reality looks more like crashing into Saturday exhausted and a little confused as to why. I spent months on productive business building only to find my creative soul longing to be fed. And, despite all the planning and list-making I do on a regular basis, my blindspots leave me blindsided.

Sound familiar?

When our ideal expectations come face to face with our reality, they erode like a sand castle when the tide rolls in. The work ahead of us, then, is to learn how to discern when we are off-kilter and adjust our expectations with a hope-filled but realistic view of our circumstances.

On a recent conference call, I lined out my problem with exhaustion and how May slapped me in the face. My kind and direct mentor said, “Well if May was chaotic, how are you planning for September?”

Ouch and amen.

There are rhythmic patterns in our life. The holiday season is always busy with engagements, get-togethers, and school performances. The first of the year is quiet, dull, and muddled. The summer heats up with vacations and different daily routines. We can plan for these seasons by being aware they exist and adjusting our schedule.

My new car has a blindspot sensor that lets me know when my limited perspective may lead to an accident. Thank you, technology! I still need to be installed with a blindspot sensor. However, God, in His infinite wisdom, sees it all and delights to lead me safely through the traffic of my own circumstances. Have I asked Him for help? He may answer through the kind, direct words of a friend or the funny podcast interview that stung a little. Or, as we slow down long enough to pray and listen, He may direct our hearts with a quiet whisper.

In case you are having trouble gaining the perspective you need in order to adjust your expectations. Try using the following questions to self-diagnose.

  1. Where in your life are you feeling consistently exhausted, disappointed, or stuck?
  2. Do you notice repeating times/seasons when this issue arises?
  3. Who do you trust to give you kind, honest feedback?
  4. Write down your expectations of yourself around this issue.
  5. Write down your expectations of others around this issue. 
  6. Do you sense the expectations of others weighing on you?
  7. What does God expect of you?
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